Sequoia: healing from the roots up

"Sometimes I pretend to be normal. But then it gets boring. So I go back to being me." Time for a pep talk. This is for me. This is for you. Hello, you. I see you struggling. Let me pep you up a bit. My best advice - Just breathe. Just be here, in your life. I know I repeat this advice a lot. But that is simply because it is so very important. Trust that your life is unfolding, always. It is never stagnant. You will continue to attract like-minded souls, and the experiences you need. It is law. It is life. Enjoy the quiet, and all this delicious time to yourself. You may think you want a partner, but I guarantee, when you have him, there will be times you long for solitude. This is the nature of life and wanting - and the grass is greener syndrome. Life is giving you this time, just as it is. So be here. Revel in it. It is preparing you for whatever comes next. Don't compare yourself to others, darling-heart. They are them. You are you. You do...

Stand still. The trees ahead and bushes beside you Are not lost. Wherever you are is called Here, And you must treat it as a powerful stranger. -David Wagoner (Collected Poems) Life is a never ending series of lessons. It becomes much more comfortable (well, comfortable isn't quite the word, maybe fulfilling) when you surrender to these lessons.  One of my life-long lessons is centred around eating and emotional coping as a highly sensitive and creative person. This lesson has been my 'Here' since I first came out of the womb. It has been my powerful stranger, always at the door of my life. Since I was very young, food has been my companion. It has been a source of daily comfort, a constant, accessible friend. And for most of my adult life I have ridiculed my own self for this.  Recently I have been partaking in a wonderful course on intuitive eating called Feast (created and facilitated by Rachel Cole .) In it, she has introduced me to th...

I'm a free spirit who never had the balls to be free.   - Cheryl Strayed (Until now!)  Sometimes we need to simply ride the wave.   No matter how crazy it feels. No matter how it looks. Just trust that the wave is taking you where you need to go. I am stepping into my power in a whole new way. I am consciously shining my light more brightly, and being seen, and getting my message out there. Outside of my head and heart, and into the world around me. The message that the Great Mother wants to share through me.  This message is about: wild. So often our deepest message is one that people would never suppose of us. One that is an all-consuming, unseen, life-longing. All of this requires peeling away of layers, then more layers. Facing walls of fear. Calling the bullshit. Clearing out the old, so that the new can enter. It does not always feel good. This is not all comfy cozy stuff. It threatens other people, it challenges the...

To know someone deeply   is like hearing the moon through the ocean  or having a hawk lay bright leaves at your  feet. It seems impossible, even while it happens. -Mark Nepo             To know and see someone deeply, and have them know and see you deeply, is one of life's most beautiful gifts.  In the midst of busy, chaotic, and sometimes overwhelming life moments, it is like a deep, cleansing breath. It says; I can relax now. I am home. This is what really matters. It is like a wild, sacred moment of truth. It is a place where there is no room to be scared. The place you knew you always wanted to be, the place you knew was always inside you, waiting patiently for you to notice. Everything that you have been longing for is waiting there for you, it has always been there. Because it is within you, not without you.  "Only by daring to be ourselves, can we deeply know others." - Mark Nepo When you find y...

My real name is Joy Seeker (watch out for the joy snatchers) Yesterday my name was Rock the Boat Today my name is Breathes-with-Steady-Heart Tomorrow my name will be Flying Yellow (with grass between her toes) Secretly I know my name is Radiant-light-high-on-a-hill-deep-in-a-cave                                                           My name was once Deep Sadness                                                           In my dream my name was Cheetah-many-spots                                                            (about t...

“Continue to unfold. Find your worthiness in the learning and unlearning. The breaking and the healing. Find peace within your broken pieces and be made whole.”  ―  Minaa B. There is nothing to be fixed. You are already whole . You are simply peeling away the layers to your inherent wholeness. Sometimes you hit a really thick, tough-hide layer that has been there for a long time. It fucking hurts to peel that one off. But you do it, bit by bit. Just be here. Just be here. Just be here. Just show up, every day. Honor where you are at. You are doing the best that you can, I know you are. Just breathe. Just be here, sweet, beautiful one. Surrender. Life has got you. The entire universe is holding you up effortlessly, and is rooting you on. Be here now. Exactly where you are. Don't wish you were somewhere else, more healed, more free. More like someone else. You are right where you are meant to be, right now. Trust the process.  Every moment of your now is creatin...

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."     -Anais Nin A flashback to the morning thoughts of emancipation..... This morning I woke up at five am. The wind chimes on Oma, the large maple tree, were ringing loudly. Ringing me awake. I lay nestled in my warm bed, with one hand over my belly and one over my heart. The warm energy of my body vibrating under my hands. And I thanked my body; for holding me. Being with me. Casing my soul. And for holding all the pain and fear of the past many years. I said, no wonder, darling, you have felt so unwell for so long.  Heartburn, heart hurting - literally. Headaches, bloating, blocked energy. Painful cramps, pms, sore, tense muscles in neck and lower back. Utter fatigue and drained energy. And no wonder, darling, you have struggled so fucking hard with eating issues. Eating beyond the point of your body feeling full, comfort and emotional eating. The...