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Showing posts from December, 2016

The map of my daydream

The map of my daydream is a thin sliver of grey, shimmer sheening in the sunlight. It is a thick rind, ripe with possibility. It dances like the sparkles in the center. It is a tall, still aspen. And the particular grey blue of the winter sky. It is the silhouette of the orange chair, and the messy hair bun of my love, smoking his joint. It is the quietness of the morning. It is the hot bitterness of my green tea. It is the paper weight, and the plastic cover crinkle of my library book – Seven Thousand Ways to Listen. It is the joy of knowing that everything is going to work out, according to plan. (Whatever that is.) Tickety Boo of the Universe. The more I let go, the more it works out, defying reason. The beauty of the daydream is – it is not practical, it is not reasoned. And it is all the better for that. It is the sound of the piano – resonant, insistent, probing, melodic.  It is the sound of my laughter. The map...

Being lost, I am found

Can you endure your uncertainty until it shows you another, deeper way?    -Mark Nepo Being lost, I am found. What I was taught was sin, is actually my salvation. What I was taught was bad, is good. Dark, light. Dangerous, liberating (although that is a paradox.) I need soothing. To get over the pain of being taught wrong. But this is life, discovering that you were taught wrong, by your tribe. Everyone experiences this. And now it is simply time for you to relearn. It is your choice. Re-invent your life in a way that feels right to your soul. And all that undoing becomes a part of your liberation. My god is brooding over this exploration. They are watching. But they have always been watching. Tight lipped, tight fisted, ready to pounce with words of judgment, with looks of disapproval. Will I live the rest of my life under this shadow? Or will I risk shocking them, myself. Will I risk liberation? Will I risk detaching from what they thi...