Sequoia: healing from the roots up

I'm a free spirit who never had the balls to be free.   - Cheryl Strayed (Until now!)  Sometimes we need to simply ride the wave.   No matter how crazy it feels. No matter how it looks. Just trust that the wave is taking you where you need to go. I am stepping into my power in a whole new way. I am consciously shining my light more brightly, and being seen, and getting my message out there. Outside of my head and heart, and into the world around me. The message that the Great Mother wants to share through me.  This message is about: wild. So often our deepest message is one that people would never suppose of us. One that is an all-consuming, unseen, life-longing. All of this requires peeling away of layers, then more layers. Facing walls of fear. Calling the bullshit. Clearing out the old, so that the new can enter. It does not always feel good. This is not all comfy cozy stuff. It threatens other people, it challenges the...

To know someone deeply   is like hearing the moon through the ocean  or having a hawk lay bright leaves at your  feet. It seems impossible, even while it happens. -Mark Nepo             To know and see someone deeply, and have them know and see you deeply, is one of life's most beautiful gifts.  In the midst of busy, chaotic, and sometimes overwhelming life moments, it is like a deep, cleansing breath. It says; I can relax now. I am home. This is what really matters. It is like a wild, sacred moment of truth. It is a place where there is no room to be scared. The place you knew you always wanted to be, the place you knew was always inside you, waiting patiently for you to notice. Everything that you have been longing for is waiting there for you, it has always been there. Because it is within you, not without you.  "Only by daring to be ourselves, can we deeply know others." - Mark Nepo When you find y...

My real name is Joy Seeker (watch out for the joy snatchers) Yesterday my name was Rock the Boat Today my name is Breathes-with-Steady-Heart Tomorrow my name will be Flying Yellow (with grass between her toes) Secretly I know my name is Radiant-light-high-on-a-hill-deep-in-a-cave                                                           My name was once Deep Sadness                                                           In my dream my name was Cheetah-many-spots                                                            (about t...

“Continue to unfold. Find your worthiness in the learning and unlearning. The breaking and the healing. Find peace within your broken pieces and be made whole.”  ―  Minaa B. There is nothing to be fixed. You are already whole . You are simply peeling away the layers to your inherent wholeness. Sometimes you hit a really thick, tough-hide layer that has been there for a long time. It fucking hurts to peel that one off. But you do it, bit by bit. Just be here. Just be here. Just be here. Just show up, every day. Honor where you are at. You are doing the best that you can, I know you are. Just breathe. Just be here, sweet, beautiful one. Surrender. Life has got you. The entire universe is holding you up effortlessly, and is rooting you on. Be here now. Exactly where you are. Don't wish you were somewhere else, more healed, more free. More like someone else. You are right where you are meant to be, right now. Trust the process.  Every moment of your now is creatin...

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."     -Anais Nin A flashback to the morning thoughts of emancipation..... This morning I woke up at five am. The wind chimes on Oma, the large maple tree, were ringing loudly. Ringing me awake. I lay nestled in my warm bed, with one hand over my belly and one over my heart. The warm energy of my body vibrating under my hands. And I thanked my body; for holding me. Being with me. Casing my soul. And for holding all the pain and fear of the past many years. I said, no wonder, darling, you have felt so unwell for so long.  Heartburn, heart hurting - literally. Headaches, bloating, blocked energy. Painful cramps, pms, sore, tense muscles in neck and lower back. Utter fatigue and drained energy. And no wonder, darling, you have struggled so fucking hard with eating issues. Eating beyond the point of your body feeling full, comfort and emotional eating. The...

"Often, we need to put dead things to rest, so that new life can grow. And further, the thing put to rest - whether it be a loved one, a dream, or a false way of seeing - becomes the fertilizer for the life about to form. As the well-used thing joins with the earth, the old love fertilizes the new; the broken dream fertilizes the dream yet conceived; the painful way of being that strapped us to the world fertilizes the freer inner stance about to unfold."   -Mark Nepo You cannot force the soul to do anything. The soul is shy and wild. You must create a safe space for it to emerge in the way it chooses to do so. And when it is ready, it will shed its skin, to make way for the new skin underneath. The other night I had one of those gut-wrenching, heaving cries. A good cry. The release of build up that needed to come out. Afterwards, I lay on my back with a pillow between my shoulder blades, my heart chakra open wide. The cat came and curled up on my chest, right ove...

The face of tomorrow is shining and laughing. It is washed fresh.  It has all the laugh lines, the love cracks. It has the deep purple moons under the eyes, from all the sleepless nights, the crying eyes. But somehow the moons make it even more beautiful. They are beams of life, shooting out, mellowing, illuminating. Everything is illuminated in this face of tomorrow. Everything is forgiven. It is fresh now. In it, I believe all things are possible. All things are new. I am old enough to learn that it has always been this way. Now is tomorrow. Yesterday is now. It is all the same. But my soul has had time to grow. I can now appreciate tomorrow as today. Tomorrow looks like living my life exactly the way I want to. Not how other people say I should. My face has been washed in tears, and bathed in smile-light. And now it recognizes that both (tears and smiles) are equally valuable. The face of tomorrow (now) is awash with pleasure. It is flushed with desire. It is li...