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Fertile doing-nothing



 The fertile doing-nothing

I am here. The fertile doing-nothing has taken me into her bosom. Slowly, after many years, I have finally succumbed to her insistency.  She was never loud, but she was  pervasive. Always there – in my subconscious, in my nature, in the deep things that called me to be true to myself.  Everything that was different than she is stood out like a sore thumb, grating at my spirit, sometimes clawing, until I could no longer resist. 

I could no longer resist her beauty, insistency, and raw truth.

I am here. And the fertile doing-nothing has taken me over. I am her willing captive, and I am free. She allows me to break free from all the half-truths that society has tried to shove down my throat since I was born into this world. The half-truths that promise glory in exchange for pain, pressure and stress. The half worn truths that compelled me to try to fit in, to be like everyone else, and to conform to a life that sucked my spirit dry.

I am here. I now know that life is ripe and fertile. That creativity breeds like little rabbits in this dark womb, this doing-nothing, this stillness, this quiet, this softly whispered yes. I am falling down the rabbit hole, like Alice. And I do not want to go back. Suck me in, suck me down. Into this spiral, this fertile dance.

Walt Whitman said sing the body electric.  After thousands of written words, and felt experiences, I, too am falling down this rabbit hole. I am falling free. I am falling into this fertility. This  doorway confounds every modern person, but every mystic is at home with it. Every poet, artist, and seeker has discovered this fertile doing-nothing. The prayer, the muse, the freedom, the connection to all that is, is found there. The harmony of words, the delicious nonsense of doing nothing. The silliness of being unbound, unfettered. The love found together there. Let my creativity breed here. Let the muse find me here.

I am here. Take me, fertile doing-nothing. And wrap me in your capable arms. 

The meadow land of doing nothing is a revolution in this age of doing everything. If you are not doing everything then there is something wrong with you. Fill up your time, fill up your calendar or you will not fit in. You will, however, miss out on anything that is important and deep. I guess that is what everyone is after, after all. They are trying to miss out, unbeknownst to them.

I am here. I have always been here, in the center of who I am. For years I resisted my own truth, my own fertility. But this year I am reclaiming it, I have been for years, but this is the big year for me. The big year for falling into my fertile doing-nothing; where everything is birthed – from prayer to multiple orgasms, to all the books I will write. All things are bound up together in one another.

Peace, presence, truth, resilience, understanding and knowledge – it is all there, all within this fertile doing-nothing.

I am here. The fertile doing-nothing has claimed me. Finally, at last, she has come for me, and I can no longer resist. 

So, simply, I allow. 


And it is the best decision I have ever made. The decision to cap all decisions – making no decisions, but simply falling into the flow of life.


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