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I belong





I belong.

Every time I drive down this particular strip of highway, I am reminded of what if feels like to be truly alive. 

Going slowly down the highway, I am taking up more space than I wanted to. 

So I push myself to live a little louder. 

I say a holy yes. To this beautiful, hard, messy, lonely, exquisite life that I am living right now.

It is so good. All of it. Fuck. It is so good.

There is nothing I could add to it or take away from it that would make it more palatable, more perfect.

It is so beautiful. My soul aches with its beauty. And I belong here. I belong to the golden wheat fields, and the golden aspen leaves. I belong to the rolling hills and the old barns that are falling apart. I belong to the cows, and the wide expanse of open sky. I belong to the bright full moon that I can see through the trees.

My knocking knees tell me the truth. And the way my laugh bubbles up. 

I belong to the sweet smell in the air, to the deer that look up, acutely aware of my presence. I belong here, every soft and crunchy part of me.

It is the most wonderful feeling to belong.

Feeling that sense of belonging is saying a holy yes to life. No matter what, I belong. Nothing can take that away from me. My soul is at home. Within myself, and within this landscape. In this country, in this wide open sky and field, is my home. It reflects the massive expanse of soul within my body.

I stand up erect to receive the beauty.
I look rapt to give beauty.
I am home in beauty,
In clay.
And I let you walk me home to the water.


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