Shadow work is light work

This New Year I bought my first tarot deck: The Wild Unknown. I am a newbie to tarot, though not to living a life strongly guided by intuition. I eagerly began with a full year spread and turned up the devil card as the theme for my year. I also pulled death, the tower (falling apart) and several other ‘portentous’ cards to define my year. This got me to take an honest look at the role of the shadow in my life.

What role does the shadow play in my life?

For many years I have been acquainted with isolation, in different measures, as I sifted through my shadows and my experiences. I learned to unplug from the idea that isolation (solitude) is ‘bad’. To understand that it is necessary. And then, again, to understand that it must not be permanent. That friendship, partnership, and love are a vital part of living in the light. Darkness/shadow/solitude will be sprinkled throughout the course of my life, and this is not bad, it is necessary.

Sometimes things fall apart so utterly that the only step you can take is towards wholeness.

I have known this falling apart; I have known the dark goddess Kali. There is always more to know, as you become more courageous, or simply the more you realize that there is truly nothing to fear. This goes against the full grain of what you have been socialized to believe, so it takes time, to build this essential knowing.

Before you know this, you think that being only in the light, you are whole. When you begin to see your shadow, you see that, only by integrating your shadow, can you be whole in your light. Often, it takes an utter falling apart, to gain ground in this particular space of knowing.

It is essential to find your whole power and use it during this time. There must be a daily re-devoting of yourself to finding and activating this power, and to plugging into the collective of people who are doing the same. An unswerving devotion to seeking out the presence of love in the world is non-negotiable. There is no more time for sitting on the fence. Compassion, wholeness, and unity must be fiercely pursued and activated, without room for them to be swallowed up by the greater darkness.

If we enter into our own shadow, we can better understand how to navigate the greater shadow. To pull ourselves out of separation – out of the ‘good’ and ‘bad’ camps, into the whole center. This is where the true power lies; the power for change. The true peace, as in Rumi’s field out beyond right and wrongdoing, where we can meet.

“These are important initiation experiences. To be swallowed in darkness. To stew in the belly of something unknowable.”

Know when you are being initiated.

Know that everything in the Universe has purpose. Know that you are exactly where you are supposed to be right now. Know that it is okay; it is necessary to be swallowed into the darkness. Know that darkness is not ‘bad’, light is not ‘good’. It all is. It is desirable to live in the light, it is necessary to enter into the shadow, to find your wholeness. Call it whatever you want to – the belly of the whale, the dark night of the soul, the great unknowing – every spiritual path has a different name for this necessity.

It may be scary, but is not to be feared.

Only love is real. What does real mean?

What you focus on is real.

Always remember, dearest darling, you can only take one step at a time. Trust through the lens of wherever you are at, at any given time, and simply take the step that is in front of you. Each place serves you, until you outgrow it, and move on to the next. Know yourself. Trust yourself. Trust your intuition, above all else.

“Shadow work is light work. The two have always gone hand in hand. You cannot walk into illumination without activating the shadow.”

Shadow work is light work. And sometimes the lines blur. Sometimes there is more shadow in your light, and sometimes more light in your shadow. My whole life I have had more light in my shadow, if possible, even an imbalance towards the light (right, good, nice, bright) - sometimes right and nice can be more shadow than light, so much so that there arose a need to swing the pendulum deep into the shadow, to ultimately bring balance, a more whole alignment within myself.

The first step is acknowledging that there is always shadow in the light, that both are present, that both are necessary.

The most important thing is to trust the voice of your inner knowing. The key word being you – yours. Not anyone else’s. Do not give your power away to any other person, organization or religion. You will know what do to and when to do it, if you listen and trust.

I have spent the majority of my life doing light work. I have activated a big shadow, my own. My shadow. Does that now mean that I will be doing a whole shit load of shadow work? I don’t know. I don’t have the answers to these questions. The only thing I know for sure is that I trust myself. I trust the years of light work that I have partaken in. I know that I am guided by light, by goddess, and I know that there is darkness in her as well, and that it is not to be feared. “There is nothing to fear but fear itself.”

Shadow work is not to be feared. It is necessary. I know that I have put many years into getting to know and love myself. This is a strong foundation from which to do my shadow work. Circumstances are merely external; the true work is done on the inside. Circumstances, experiences, and people, labeled either ‘good’ or ‘bad’ are merely containers to illuminate the inner experience. They can be triggers, or things that challenge your entire worldview. They can be game changers, life shifters, or issues that cause you to think differently. But ultimately, the true change is done on the inner plane; the outer circumstances are merely the visual results - what other people

see of your inner change. In turn they interpret what they see through the lens of their own understanding. Nothing that anyone else thinks can affect your personal inner change.