Skip to main content

Army of Me







Peel back your petals to reveal your heart of matter.

Let words sink in to your being.  

Embrace your sacredness, walk strongly in your day today. 

May the sun shine warmly on you. And may your breath rise up in you and make you feel alive.


When I pull away the layers, I am facing only myself. I must choose, then, to love myself.

I soar to heights. And I curl up in a ball, in my normal, naked humanity.
Expanding into another, of the many rooms, in Goddess’s house. The Bhudda lived in one. The Christ.
Human, tree, bird, sky, earth, air, smile – all of these are blessings in and of themselves.

I am a part of the healing and heaving of the earth.

I am a part of the collective pulsating humanity that weaves brokenness into beauty.

That shakes the earth through silent, sacred petitions.

Freedom has been lost. But it will always be regained where we open ourselves up to love again.

Lately, I have been sorting through the pieces of my "fractured identities." Sweeping some aside,  under the carpet. Finding some new ones. But most of all, realizing that they are all me. They are the army of me.


Now is the time. To exorcise all the demons of thought. That say I am not good enough, I am not loud enough, I have not lived enough, I never give enough.

Now is the time to birth my propensity, my potential, my inner. 

I have cradled my many me's, like a helpless infant, yet to be born to me. Already born in me. Softly singing, whispering, breathing, into existence.


There is no time left to resist, to ignore, to not exist, in the army of me.

I am a many-petaled, layered, loud-voiced, soft whisper.

Held, withheld, shouted, pushed into your hand, face, spirit, vision.

I stand strong. With legs of earth and iron. The roots of my veins digging, entwining deep into the bowels of the earth of this world.

My hair, my veins, my arms, standing on end, reaching up into the stars, the voices, chants of this universe. I dwell on earth and in the sky, the army of me.

I have been tied down. I have listened. I have been transformed. I have evolved. I have grown eyes. I have grown wings.

Wait. Don't hold your breath. Don't hold back. Don't wait any longer. Just be. Army of me.
I'm jamming, laying, pirouetting, crouching, praying, staying, going open. No longer waiting.
To be. The army of me.

(* Happy Birthday, darling. October 2016)



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Raw Beauty of Life

"You are like a leaf blowing around in the eye of a hurricane. Life has really landed on you. It's amazing to see how you carry it." -Ryan Hartley Life is like a dark night, and a star-lit soul peering into a jar of fireflies. We are free and bound at the same time.  It is the collected moments that you are present to, which create a beautiful life.  Observing the steam rise in curls from a mug of green tea, the pattern of sunlight streaming through a leaf, the warmth of someones lips on yours, the crinkle at the corner of the eyelids in a child's smile, the moment you jump into a cold lake.  This is life.  And yes - the moments where you are curled up in a ball on the floor, your body heaving with sobs. The moments where you are called out. The dark parts of yourself that you encounter, and choose to integrate. The times you see someone doing something you wish you were doing and feel jealous. Life is not a tea party that we dress up f...

Blessed Be

( Francesca Woodman- Then at one point _Providence, Rhode Island 1978) Bless the quiet mornings when no one is up and I am alone. Bless the still, tall trees outside my window. Bless the bright stars in the night sky. Bless the stillness. Bless the pile of dishes, and bless my lover, who will do the dishes today. Bless the way he will pile them haphazardly and precariously to dry, and not dry, on and off the rack. Bless the used green tea bags, and the red polka dot bowl with remnants of cottage cheese in it. Bless the empty bottle of wine. Bless the half full bottle of wine. Bless the Netflix documentaries. Bless the exhaustion. Bless the warmth of two bodies sleeping beside each other. Bless the waking up from a good dream. Bless the surge of tenderness you feel for another human being. Bless the kisses. Bless the quiet before a day full of talk and doing. Bless the quiet after a day full of talk and doing. Bless the pile of poetry books. Bless the Marim...

What I've learned from a year of tarot

“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. The point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.” ―  Rainer Maria Rilke        I've just completed my 2018 forecast tarot reading, and I wanted to reflect on all that I have learned from the tarot this past year.  Life is so much more complex than we allow it to be, and I have learned to step into the middle of paradox. True, alchemical treasure is found when we step outside the camps of 'black' and 'white', into Rumi's field, out beyond right and wrong. And this is the place we need to be, now more than ever, in the midst of all the polarities and 'sides' runni...